Saturday, April 30, 2011

She Sees

she sits in the middle of the colossal arena
accepting of her fate of death
the emptiness hollowed her out
after so much fear and pain and tears
sadness unbound
the crowd jeers

The Master of Ceremonies incites the flock
hateful glee and spite twisting his ugly face
his black soul revels in such degradation
no mercy in the din
He orchestrates the hatred toward this small
her crime
peonage denied

she looks up and sees the eagle soaring above
she catches the feather
gliding down to meet her filthy hand

she catches images of what the madness looks like from soaring skies
and she smiles
and she stands tall
and she walks free
screams of outrage are no longer heard
the spitting, red rage rolls off like the
Mists of Dream Mountain
her glowing clean skin untouched
she hadn't noticed the open door from
down here in the dirt & decay

great  Exaltation to you Mother Eagle
you were always there
waiting patiently
for your beloved
to See

this poem is dedicated to Dave B.
a Gentleman among the Beasts

beehive stirred....

nest of bees
stirring up

mmm, dog has his day
I hope you like rock soup

There will be a day
that things go right

look into a passion
and try to take it away

that is the question
is it worth it?

Is it worth the hornets nest you just stirred up
o invisible one

I do not think ignorance of a situation quite

I do not have to look over my shoulder

I do not have to wait for your attack
in every corner

I forgot
that is

My divine RIGHT
to live a life of joy

what you misunderstand
is not my responsibility

I have lived in chains for years
I prefer to not have yours around my neck anymore

Hornets nest hornets nest
was it worth it?

To scare
to threaten?

To take what is mine?
Because YOU think I am unworthy

Do you really understand what it means
 to try and make a child hate their mother?

It can't happen-first of all
that little trick usually backfires on you

silly rabbit
not understanding the whole picture has a consequence


It all comes back to haunt you

Friday, April 29, 2011

Monsters we are All

mother nature
fury with no conscience
or direction
gonna eat you
doesn't matter
if you have money or not
have some more plastic surgery and shut up
your lips are looking old
it will make you feel better
till next year
or the next model is revealed
you are saving hundreds of kids
from being born
from your diseased womb
I don't judge though
do what you gotta do
go fuck that young chick cause
she has the power between her legs
to keep you vital
keep you young
make you richer
put her in that new Jag
nobody will figure out you don't actually like girls
oh you are so fine
What did you do today?
Make some donations to a charity?
thats good, that's real good
a real good tax write off
I do hope you don't get caught
with the dirty deals
that would really suck for those hungry children and cancer all that money is going to
you are so super
we need to find an award to give you
oh wait
There's one!
shaped like a golden ass
good man
beautiful woman
I mean I am pretty sure cause you have super perfect tits
no hips
no hair
down there
but thats ok
nobody is actually looking
and its safer to fuck an illusion
than get caught
with who you really are

this SHELL

A Shell
A mask. 
A human body.
doesn't entice the quarry
Places to hide
To wear.
Vastly uncomfortable
To leave
Infinitely more
if we did.
Smallness, I am so small 
Save our soul.
We choose these rooms.
Spilt second.
A chance. 
The moment passed.
To see true beauty.
True power.
so close yet untouchable
Too tired. 
Too old. 
Where is the second chance.
The golden ticket.
It lives with unicorns
and faeries.
Fuck a deity?
Be damn Specific
Self esteem of steel
Even then it wont be
half of what you need
Just a bloody asshole
And a hangover.
Appetites never
to be sated.
Aspirations premature
Craving affection
Reply is
Ravenousness in an extinct
too late
too lacking
never enough
life motto
Seethe malevolence
this blackhole

Thursday, April 28, 2011

where is it

I heard a song
talking heads
where is my?
and a list of things
I want some of those things
I waunt sum moor please
We must think positive
or we get nothing
its human nature to destroy
unless you are right with the world
the world is not right with you
thoughts become things
if you are a sad sack
please allow me the honor of giving you the underside of my boots to lick
pull yourself up by the bootstraps
you lazy pathetic shithead
nose to the grindstone
reach out for help if you need it
its really inside you
the truth of all
lean on me
you co-dependant dumbass
you can't rely on others to make you feel better
I will help you if you need it
except actually
thats what friends are for
the phone rings forever
where is my apple fucking pie??
I love him
he hates me
I can't see anything anymore
I can't see past this
this is all there is really
there is nothing else
there is no getting over it
there is no light at the end of a tunnel
babies dying
waves killing them all
I can't see anything else
was there anything else?
I don't remember
I don't think there was
I think that was a Target ad
my mistake
I should tear this thing apart
don't see any reason to stop
The jungle is so thick
The vines are strangling me
I must go
where is the door?
I forget
I can't find it
someone must have moved it while I took that catnap last year
VAST playing on the iPod
That person that wrote that?
He got it
he knows
I think I would like him
if he were a real person
or if I was

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Henry Rollins

I used to write him
as a teenager verging on the young adult phase
he wrote me back
I used to read his poetry and relate to every fucking word
I listened to all his music
I saw him live once, doing his spoken word
I witnessed his interactions with people
behind the scenes
he was a complete asshole.
I walked past him when the show was over and he smiled at me.
A friend saw him at a bar that night and said he was a complete asshole.
Now he is a humanitarian
if you've ever read anything by him
the first few books of poetry is brutal
and truthful
that he goes around now and actually cares about this world?
it amazes me that a person that wrote the bleak
black words he did
ever made it to thirty
I still feel his words
I still relate very well to them
I haven't quite progressed from my utter contempt of this place
I still breathe in
I thought I would change once someone married me and I had children
Who knew that makes it even worse
divorced now
children growing up in a world falling apart
with even more war and racism and greed and narcissism than when I was growing up
things haven't gotten even remotely better

but he travels the world and puts a spotlight on how life is in these desolate
places with people packed in and 50 people using one toilet
and using that water from the toilet for
and how things can GET BETTER
even coming from that shithole shitfest
and he has hope
I don't get it
How did that happen?


It means nothing
your life
your death
your pain
your joy
that smile
that frown
that tear
those years of tears
all your impotent rage
that garden you planted and cultivated for the perfect rose
someone younger taking your husband
someone younger taking your job
someone doing every sport you tried, you giving 110%, better than your sorry ass
that cat that boy killed
that rainforest they destroyed for cattle to feed on to feed you
all that music that inspired you
all those dreams that died that day
all those dreams that came true
you getting raped
you getting murdered
your child dying
your children suffering the same fate as you
the cycle is broken
the cycle is not broken
who cares
you caused it all
you brought the pain
you brought the happiness
just you
not some god(ess) you created
not some sentient mother planet
what you experience is the world
it is the hell
it is the heaven
and when you go-so does it
you may have affected others for the good
or the bad
but eventually they go too
words get forgotten
images burn out
it's all you
your fault
your responsibility
the great
the horrible
means nothing


Saturday, April 9, 2011


darkness encloses
black cat my life
grey cat yowls
burning eye
never sated
it never ends
but that can be arranged
the only way
it is endured
is to be ignored
mask is sealed
mirror broken
a bird is singing my last song
on that dead tree over there
the one that was supposed to bloom forever
didn't this spring
the season of my malcontent
wasn't just a season
to have a life that is not really real
that can't be right
the FALL of my life
is the fall of my life
the universe calls me
I don't hear a sound
the music has lost its appeal
it's soothing balm
it was all I had
music and
was all I had
and they are
gone now
not even their ghosts
black cat sleeps
grey cat is lost
darkness saturates 

Friday, April 8, 2011

and then she said

come and be with me
for a little while
we can pretend life is different
and free
we will make a nest in my bed
for days upon days
eat and play games
watch old movies and fuck like beasts
the world we know
full of pain and fear,
lost moments, opportunities and people
all the misery that mires us
will just go away
we will create our own rules
if there are any to create
You can tell me anything
even the scary dark stuff
you hide away, deep down in there
and I won't flinch
and I'll hang on to you
as tight as I can
as you scream
or cry
or both
I'll take you to the beach one day
and show you my secret place
that soothes the scattered mind
you can almost feel
what it feels like to be a real boy
you won't want to leave me
when our respite is up
I will seduce you with
my soothing ways
the softness of me
the curve of my hips
I will let you drown in
a shade of blue
my eyes can turn
that I have never allowed
anyone to see
I would give you the real girl
I hide away, deep down in there
that bides her time,
that waits
and shines

HAUNTING is an understatement

If its possible
If there is anything
this black hole piss hell
I will come after you
like no ghost
in the history of stories
ever told
I will shit in your mouth
I will rip you to shreds every time
your eyes start to droop
Every attempt at solace and calm
I will tear asunder
I will make sure
you feel every ounce
of rage
stored inside me
every black eye
every choke upon my neck
every hit upon my skin
every harsh brutal word
you spoke against me
and yes, that includes
every lie you ever told
I will make my goal in death
to utterly and
destroy your life.
No death for you
no release
no relief
just PAIN
My vow to you,
the one that murdered me

© 2011 NKFL

Sunday, April 3, 2011


YES, I am an accredited and licensed muse.
How may I help you?

Hm...let's see what we shall see..shall we?
Hold please.

*One Hour Later*
Hi, thanks for...
ooo, ok, slow down dear...
HAAAAHAAAA, no I don't think that would fit there.

Lookit, chill baby chill
You are feeling angry and frustrated and violent, correct?
I inspired that
You think it's all brilliant ideas, kittens and sunshine?

That will be $99.99
And don't worry, your credit card has already been debted.
Thank you
Now go forth and write like the devil!!