Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Dear Universe,

I do not actually want to die.
I want a life worth living.
And since you always give me what I want, can you get this to me ASAP?
Cause things are getting dark and I can’t see your little hints and guides and 
small gestures that are telling me everything will be ok.
I can’t believe in them right now and I can’t pull myself up from this.
I really have nothing to wake up for or I can’t see what there is to wake up for and all the positive thoughts in the world can’t help me out of this.
I need you, Universe, My Creator, My Love-get me out of this Hell, let me live as a complete human.
I am tired of walking around dead-it doesn’t work for me.
I don’t need years of training, or even a week. I can handle it now, thank you.
Let me BE-Fully BE.
I would think this world would rather have me shine if they only knew the enormity of what I hold inside. I mean, if I can see it! IF I CAN SEE it HERE IN THIS BLACKNESS! holy shit! imagine!
My strength is gone, I’m running on fumes here and not much more time with that I reckon.
At this point, there needs to be something bigger, something stronger to get me through.
I can't do this alone and please stop sending me this...
too little too late bullshit...we both know how well that goes.
I want to laugh. I want to smile at things for no goddamn reason. I want some fun. I want to play.
I want to CREATE all these things stuck in my head. I have so much money to make from these things! Lets get to it, huh?
Im not expecting flowers flowing out my ass every day , every second-but it can't be the reverse either, it cant just be DESPAIR ALL THE FUCKING TIME EITHER.
not only do I not see the forest for the trees...I'm highly suspicious, if these are even "trees".
Signed-you know who

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