Saturday, March 26, 2011

I would like to start smoking again
and drinking too much
and maybe finding a drug dealer
to supply an adequate fix

I want to sit and write
fabulous
horrible
shocking
things
smoking cigarette after cigarette
drunk off my ass
high
in the dark
in the cold
'cause I can't afford electricity

alone
'cause I can't stand being around anyone
anymore
I am tired of taking care of everyone
without having the time to take care of me
or even to take a bath

I want a temporary hiatus of being a
responsible
broken dreamed
divorced
middle aged
suburbanite
single mother
cook
maid
chauffeur
pet care
dog walker
jungle gym
pillow
teacher
etc
etc

etc

I want to be completely
irresponsible
fuck everyone that catches my eye
and not even remotely in a 'vanilla' sort of way
to dance till 5am
Scream
get into fights
eat everything that's unhealthy
drive way too fucking fast
in a hot car
with the music blaring

to do this without any consequences

hmm...yes
I want to be Dorian Grey
for a little while
without the tragic ending

This is just me thinking...
thoughts and

stuff

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